Estimating universals, averages and percentages

In my previous post, I discussed the differences between existential and universal statements. In particular, the standard of evidence is different: to be sure that an existential statement is correct we only need to see one example, but to be sure a universal is correct we have to have examined everything.

But what if we don’t have the time to examine everything, and we don’t have to be absolutely sure? As it turns out, a lot of times we can be pretty sure. We just need a representative sample of everything. It’s quicker than examining every member of your population, and it may even be more accurate, since there are always measurement errors, and measuring a lot of things increases the chance of an error.

Pierre-Simon Laplace figured that out for the French Empire. In the early nineteenth century, Napoleon had conquered half Europe, but he didn’t have a good idea how many subjects he had. Based on the work of Thomas Bayes, Laplace knew that a relatively small sample of data would give him a good estimate. He also figured out that he needed the sample to be representative to get a good estimate.

?The most precise method consists of (1) choosing districts distributed in a roughly uniform manner throughout the Empire, in order to generalize the result, independently of local circumstances,? wrote Laplace in 1814. If you didn’t have a uniform distribution, you might wind up getting all your data from mountainous districts and underestimating the population, or getting data from urban districts and overestimating. Another way to avoid basing your generalizations on unrepresentative data is random sampling.

"Is Our Face Red!" says the Literary DigestA lot of social scientists, including linguists, understand the value of sampling. But many of them don’t understand that it’s representative sampling that has value. Unrepresentative samples are worse than no samples, because they can give you a false sense of certainty.

A famous example mentioned in Wikipedia is when a Literary Digest poll forecast that Alfred M. Landon would defeat Franklin Delano Roosevelt in the 1936 Presidential election. That poll was biased because the sample was taken from lists of people who owned telephones and automobiles, and those people were not representative of the voters overall. The editors of the Literary Digest were not justified in generalizing those universal statements to the electorate as a whole, and thus failed to predict Roosevelt’s re-election.

"Average Italian Female" by Colin Spears

“Average Italian Female” by Colin Spears

What can be deceiving is that you get things that look like averages and percentages. And they are averages and percentages! But they’re not necessarily averages of the things you want an average of. A striking example comes from a blogger named Colin Spears, who was intrigued by a “facial averaging” site set up by some researchers at the University of Aberdeen (they’ve since moved to Glasgow). Spears uploaded pictures from 41 groups, including “Chad and Cameroonian” and created “averages.” These pictures were picked up by a number of websites, stripped of their credits, and bundled with all kinds of misleading and inaccurate information, as detailed by Lisa De Bruine, one of the creators of the software used by Spears.

Some bloggers, like Jezebel’s Margaret Hartmann, noted that the “averages” all looked to be around twenty years old, which is not the median age for most countries according to the CIA World Fact Book (which presumably relies on better samples). In fact, the median age for Italian women (see image) is 45.6. The average look of the image is in the twenties, because that’s the age of the images that Spears uploaded to the Aberdeen site. So we got averages of some Italian women, but nothing that actually represents the average (of all) Italian women. (Some blog posts about this even showed a very light-skinned face for “Average South African Woman,” but that was just a mislabeled “Average Argentine Woman.”)

Keep this in mind the next time you see an average or a percentage. What was their sampling method? If it wasn’t uniform or random, it’s not an average or percentage of anything meaningful. If you trust it, you may wind up spreading inaccuracies, like a prediction for President Landon or a twentysomething average Italian woman. And won’t your face be red!

Black swans exist

Existentials and universals

There’s a famous story about swans that Nasim Taleb used for the title of his recent book. European zoologists had seen swans, and all the swans they had seen had white feathers, so they said that all the swans in the world were in fact white. Then a European went to Australia and saw swans with black feathers. Taleb’s point is that no matter how much we know, we don’t know what we don’t know, and overconfidence in our knowledge can make us rigid and vulnerable.

Sentences like “There are swans,” or “there are black swans” are what logicians call existential statements. “All swans are white” is a universal statement. In science, the two are very different and require different kinds of evidence.

All it takes to make an existential statement is a single observation. I know that there are swans because I’ve seen at least one. But to say that all swans are white with certainty requires us to have seen every swan. The European zoologists made that universal statement without universal observations, and all it took was one observation of a black swan to prove them wrong.

Now here’s a point that seems to be missed: averages are universal statements. Actually, they’re made with some relatively simple arithmetic applied to data from all members of a category, so they entail universal statements. If the Regal Swan Foundation says “Mute Swans? wingspans average 78 inches,” we take that to mean someone measured all the mute swans (or a representative sample; I’ll get into that in another post). If someone says that and then you find out they only measured swans in their local park, you’d feel deceived, wouldn’t you?

Here’s another one: percentages are universal statements. How can it be a universal statement to say that ten percent of people are left-handed? Well, you have to look at all of them to know for sure that the rest are not. And the same thing goes for “most,” “the majority” and other words that entail statements about fractions. I think this is why Robyn Hitchcock said, “the silent majority is the crime of the century”: if the silent majority really is silent, there’s no way for the person making the claim to know what they think.

On the other hand, statements about units and fractions of units are only existential statements. I have two cats, and I ate half a sausage roll for dinner last night. Words like “many,” “some” and “a few” are also existential statements. I’ve seen many white swans, but I claim no knowledge of the ones I haven’t seen. The only way you could falsify that statement is by process of elimination: showing that there aren’t enough swans in my experience to count as “many.”

So the bottom line is that in order to make a universal statement, including a percentage or an average, you need to have looked at all the members of the group. But in order to make an existential statement, you only need one.

Now here’s why I’m writing this post: this stuff sounds simple, and I feel like I’m writing it for kids, but there are a lot of people who don’t follow it. Either they’ve never been taught about the standards of evidence for universals, or they’ve been taught to ignore them. Most of the times I’ve read “all,” people seem to get that it’s a universal and don’t say it unless they can reasonably claim to have data from all of the things concerned. But a lot of people have trouble with “most” and averages, and especially percentages. You can’t say “most” unless you’ve seen them all.

Well, there actually is a way you can say “most” without seeing them all. It’s called induction, but it’s hard to do, harder than a lot of people seem to think. I’ll talk about that in a future post.

The author, posing in an existential Black Swan T-shirt (Update, August 19, 2015: I liked the black swan drawing above so much I decided that it should exist on T-shirts. And you too can call into existence T-shirts, throw pillows, travel mugs – all with the Existential Black Swan on them! I’ll get a cut of the money. Click here for details.)

Ernst Mach

I’m an instrumentalist. Are you one too?

Over the past few years I’ve realized that there are a lot of scientists who have a different view of science than I do, and most of them don’t even know about my way of thinking. But my way of thinking about science – Instrumentalism – is cool! I’m writing this post to explain what Instrumentalism is, and why I prefer it to other ways of thinking about science. At the very least I can link back to this from future posts so that you’ll understand why I say certain things. Maybe you’ll agree with me that Instrumentalism is cool. Maybe you’re already an Instrumentalist and you didn’t even know it!

Instrumentalism is the idea that scientific theories can never be proven wrong or right. Instead, theories are tools for understanding and prediction. They can be judged as better or worse tools, but that depends entirely on the context: what’s being explained to who and what’s being predicted, under what circumstances. Scientific models have the same status. In one of the most famous cases, the movement of the sun relative to the Earth, neither Ptolemy’s geocentric model nor Copernicus’s heliocentric model would be considered “true” or “false.”

This view of theories does not mean that there is no truth or falsity in science. Observations can still be accurate or inaccurate. And critically, hypotheses can be confirmed or rejected. These hypotheses are usually based on a theory, and a theory that predicts a lot of falsified hypotheses is not a very useful theory. So the heliocentric model is more useful than the simple geocentric model for predicting the movements of planets because those predictions are more often correct.

On the other hand, the geocentric model must still be useful, because most people continue to use it every day. If you’ve ever talked about the sun “rising,” you’ve used a geocentric model. It’s a lot easier than talking about part of the earth’s surface rotating away from the direct rays of the sun. The geocentric model’s predictions about the sun’s behavior are perfectly adequate for day to day human activity.

Since theories are tools for understanding, they are more useful if they are based on a simple analogy to something familiar. The geocentric model compares the sun to flying birds and jumping horses, or to spheres and hoops. In order to explain the apparent “retrograde motion” of the planets, astronomers added the ugly and counterintuitive “epicycles” to the geocentric model. But the sun does not exhibit retrograde motion, so there are no epicycles to spoil its simplicity.

This means that an astronomer (or any of us watching a movie about space) will likely use both the heliocentric model and the geocentric model on the same day, or even in the same hour. In a view of science which says theories are true or false, what does it say about someone that they use two different theories to model the same phenomenon on the same day? Maybe that person is a hypocrite, or even worse, weak-minded for not having the will to consistently apply the true model.

In contrast, instrumentalism is pluralist, tolerant and understanding. Of course sometimes we all act like the sun goes around the earth. It’s the simplest, most straightforward way to think about it!

Times Square Subway Station

The Reduction Effect

Last week I talked about how high-frequency words and phrases resist analogical change. This entrenchment happens because analogical change is driven by forgetting, and it’s harder to forget something that you’ve said a lot. In this post I want to talk about a different effect of frequency, the reduction effect, where high-frequency words and phrases get shortened and simplified.

We see reduction in all the words and phrases we say most often. “How are you?” becomes “Hiya” and then “Hi.” “I don’t know” becomes “I dunno” and then something I can’t even write, a single “uh” vowel with a low-high-low tone pattern. “I am going to let you” becomes “I’m gonna let you,” and then, in the speech of Kanye West and Eminem, “amaletchoo.”

A lot of people find these frequency effects confusing. How can high frequency words and phrases be simultaneously the first to change and the last to change? What makes this possible is that they are two different kinds of change. Entrenchment is about forgetting, and the more we do things, the more we remember how to do them. Reduction is about ease, and the more we do things the easier they become.

This is like any habit. Because I take the subway to Times Square so frequently, I not only never forget the way, but I do all kinds of things to make it faster and easier. I know where to stand on the platform, where to sit on the train, and when to stand up, so that I get off right by the most convenient staircase.

More importantly, I have a low-level “muscle memory” of the movements involved in the trip. Every time, I climb the stairs the same way, sit down the same way, stand up the same way. It’s the same with unlocking my apartment door or cooking a steak. My movements are all smaller and smoother. I can do a lot of it without thinking.

As with entrenchment, I learned about the Reduction Effect in class with Joan Bybee. In one of her early papers, published in 1976 under the name Joan B. Hooper, she credits Hugo Schuchardt with discovering the relationship. In 1885 (German PDF p. 28 | English translation p. 56), Schuchardt wrote, “What is more natural than making things easier whenever frequency provides the strongest impulse for this and wherever the danger of misunderstanding is least?”

I know I said I’d talk about why it’s not so surprising that we get “snuck.” I’m almost there; I wanted to get this relatively straightforward stuff out of the way first.

One way of generating spam

This showed up today in the comments that Akismet flagged for spam:

{Photo|Picture|Photograph|Image|Photography|Snapshot|Shot|Pic|Photographic|Graphic|Pics} {credit|credit score|credit rating|credit history|credit ratings|consumer credit|credit ranking|credit standing|consumer credit rating|credit scores|credit worthiness}: {AP|Elp} | {FILE|Document|Record|Report|Data file|Submit|Computer file|Data|Register|Archive|Database} #file_links\keywords1.txt,1,S] {-|?|:|*|( space )|( blank )|,|To|. . .|And|As} {In this|Within this|On this|With this|In this particular|During this|In such a|Through this|From this|In that|This particular} {O|To|A|E|I|U|} #file #file_links\keywords2.txt,1,S] _links\keywords3.txt,1,S] ct. {7|Seven|Several|6|8|Six|5|Five|9|Eight|10}, {2012|Next year}, {file|document|record|report|data file|submit|computer file|data|register|archive|database} {photo|picture|photograph|image|photography|snapshot|shot|pic|photographic|graphic|pics}, {Chicago|Chi town|Chicago, il|Detroit|Dallas|Chicago, illinois|Philadelphia|Los angeles|Denver|Chicagoland|Miami} {Bears|Has|Contains|Holds|Carries|Provides|Offers|Includes|Teddy bears|Requires|Features} {middle|center|midsection|midst|heart|centre|core|mid|central|middle section|middle of the} linebacker {Brian|John|Mark} Urlacher {watches|wrist watches|timepieces|designer watches|wristwatches|different watches|pieces|running watches|looks after|monitors|devices} {from the|in the|from your|through the|on the|with the|within the|belonging to the|out of the|out of your|of your} {sideline|part time} {during the|throughout the|through the|in the|over the|while in the|within the|all through the|through|usually in the|within} {second half|other half|better half|lover|wife or husband|partner|loved one} {of an|of the|of your|associated with an|connected with an|of|of any|of each|associated with the|of some|associated with} {NFL|National football league|American footbal|Football|Nhl|Nba} {football|soccer|sports|basketball|baseball|hockey|footballing|rugby|nfl|golf|nfl football} {game|sport|video game|online game|recreation|activity|match|adventure|gameplay|performance|gaming} {against the|from the|up against the|contrary to the|resistant to the|about the|with the|on the|versus the|with|around the} {Jacksonville Jaguars|Gambling} {in|within|inside|throughout|with|around|during|on|when it comes to|for|found in} {Jacksonville|The city of jacksonville|The town of jacksonville}, Fla. {The|The actual|The particular|Your|This|A|Any|Typically the|All the|That|All of the} {Bears|Has|Contains|Holds|Carries|Provides|Offers|Includes|Teddy bears|Requires|Features} {announced|introduced|declared|released|reported|proclaimed|publicised|publicized|launched|revealed|stated} {on|upon|about|in|with|for|regarding|concerning|at|relating to|on the subject of} {Wednesday|Thursday|Friday|Wed|Saturday|Sunday|Mondy|Monday|The following friday|The following thursday|Tuesday}, {March|03|Goal|Drive|Walk|April|Mar|Strut|Next month|May|Celebration} {20|Twenty|Something like 20|30|Thirty|10|21|19|More than 20|20 or so|22}, {20|Twenty|Something like 20|30|Thirty|10|21|19|More than 20|20 or so|22} #file_links\keywords4.txt,1,S] {13|Thirteen|Tough luck|12|14|15|10}, {that they were|that they are|them to be|they were} {unable to|not able to|struggling to|can not|struggle to|cannot|incapable of|helpless to|struggles to|could not|canrrrt} {reach|achieve|attain|get to|accomplish|arrive at|access|obtain|get through to|contact|grasp} {a contract|an agreement|a legal contract|a binding agreement|binding agreement|legal contract|a partnership|an understanding|a|a deal} {agreement|contract|arrangement|deal|understanding|settlement|commitment|binding agreement|legal contract|transaction|decision} {with|along with|together with|using|having|by using|utilizing|through|with the help of|by means of|by way of} Urlacher, {who is|who?s|that is|that?s|who?s going to be|who will be|who may be|who might be|who seems to be|who is responsible for|the person} {an|a good|a great|the|a|a strong|some sort of|a powerful|a particular|any|an excellent} unre #file_links\keywords5.txt,1,S] stricted {free|totally free|free of charge|no cost|cost-free|absolutely free|zero cost|100 % free|complimentary|free of cost|no charge} {agent|broker|realtor|adviser|representative|real estate agent|professional|advisor|solution|dealer|factor} {for the first time|the very first time|the first time|initially|in my ballet shoes|somebody in charge of|at last|now|responsible for|as a beginner|there?s finally someone} {in his|in the|as part of his|in their|within his|in her|within the|in|on his|during his|with his} {career|profession|job|occupation|vocation|employment|work|professional|livelihood|position|line of work}. ({AP|Elp} Photo/Phelan {M|Michael|Meters|Mirielle|L|T|D|N|E|S|R}. Ebenhack, {File|Document|Record|Report|Data file|Submit|Computer file|Data|Register|Archive|Database})

Forgetting the infrequent things

I’m pleased that so many people found my last post on forgetting and language change interesting. Ariel Cohen-Goldberg in particular noted this about forgetting:


Cohen-Goldberg is absolutely right, and this stems from forgetting. The more frequently we do something, the more likely we are to do it the same way, without forgetting how. I never forget which train to take to get to Times Square, which way to turn the key in my apartment door, or which spices to use when cooking a steak, because I do all these things on a regular basis.

It is the same with language: I say “I had a pen in my pocket,” and never “I haved.” I always say “there were three children,” and never “three childs.” I say “was he there yesterday?” and never “did he be there yesterday?” This is what Joan Bybee and Sandy Thompson (2000) called the “conserving effect” of frequency, and Ron Langacker (1987) called “entrenchment.”

I learned about entrenchment from Joan Bybee in a course on frequency effects. She discusses it in more detail in her 1995 paper on regular morphology. In her 1985 book, she credits Witold Mańczak (1980), but Mark Aronoff suggests that it may go back to Zipf (1949). I went to check Zipf’s book; someone has it out of the library, but I put in a request for it.

This course in frequency effects actually changed my life. My term paper for the course, on the shift from ne alone to ne ? pas in French, provided a good starting point for my dissertation. In section 7.3.2 of my dissertation I look at the entrenchment of high-frequency phrases like je ne sais “I don’t know,” je ne peux “I can’t,” and je n’ose “I daren’t.”

The study of entrenchment has also brought us the Google Ngram Viewer, a tool that linguists feel decidedly ambivalent about. Earlier this month, Elizabeth Weingarten profiled the Ngram Viewer in Slate, particularly its founders, mathematician Erez Lieberman Aiden and biologist Jean-Baptiste Michel.

And that was the question that set Aiden and Jean-Baptiste Michel, another Viewer founding father and co-founder of the Culturomics field, on the path to create such a tool in the first place. Back in 2007, Aiden, Michel, and a crew of undergraduate students decided to test the word evolution hypothesis by tracking irregular verbs over the past 1,000 years. They found 177 that were traceable (for instance, go and went, run and ran), plotted them manually, and discovered that the verbs did undergo a kind of evolutionary process. ?The less frequent the verb, the more rapidly it becomes irregular,? Aiden explains. ?Our work became this demo of how evolution by natural selection might work in a cultural study.?

In their paper, which came out while I was examining entrenchment in my corpus, Lieberman and his colleagues cited Bybee’s work on entrenchment, but somehow Bybee didn’t make it into Weingarten’s article, just as Mańczak didn’t make it into Lieberman et al.’s paper (or my dissertation), and Zipf (if he did write about it) didn’t make it into Bybee’s book. The main thing: it came from linguists.

Entrenchment is a very important effect, but many people forget to take it into account in their studies. At the 2008 conference of the American Association for Corpus Linguistics I was That Annoying Guy who asked everyone “If you take out this handful of high-frequency items, is there any evidence in your study that the change is still happening?” The other presenters were surprisingly tolerant of these questions.

You may be familiar with another effect of frequency, what Bybee and Thompson call the “reduction effect.” I’ll talk about that in a future post. And I’ll definitely get around to analogy as well. In the meantime, don’t forget to forget your low-frequency verbs!

Third grade class working hard on their art history assignment. Photo: Bliss Chan / Flickr.

The power of forgetfulness

Emily Brewster remarked the other day on the emergence and resurgence of irregular verb forms like “snuck,” “dreamt” and “awoke.” Stan Carey calls these forms unusual, and they are less common than innovative regular forms, but they are not surprising if you know the mechanisms underlying morphological change, in particular the role of forgetting and how we use analogy to overcome it.

For years, many linguists assumed that all change happened in the imperfect transmission of language from parents to children, because they heard small children produce over-regularized forms like “he keeped running.” In 1982 Joan Bybee and Dan Slobin published “Rules and schemas in the development and use of the English past tense,” but I prefer the title of an earlier version they presented to the ICHL, “Why small children cannot change language on their own.”

Bybee and Slobin asked English-speaking preschoolers, third graders (ages 8-10) and adults to produce past tense forms under time pressure. They found that the preschoolers almost always made errors like “blowed” instead of “blew,” but the third graders and adults hardly ever did. On the other hand, the third graders and adults did create novel irregular forms like “glew” as the past tense of “glow” and “snoze” as the past tense of “snooze.” They concluded that changes like the rise of “snuck” can only be driven by adults and older children.

What was this condition of language change that Slobin recreated in the laboratory? Forgetting. We forget all kinds of things. We forget where we left our keys, we forget where our second cousin is going to college, we forget how to hammer a nail or how to sing “Cielito Lindo.” It shouldn’t surprise us that once in a while we forget the past tense of “dive,” or the plural of “rhinoceros.” We’ve all been there.

So what do you do when you forget? Do you stand there like a moron with your mouth open? Well, yes, we all do sometimes. But after a while, or if you’re thinking quick, you’ll improvise. You’ll think of all the similar things and do something like that. You’ll look in the places you’ve found your keys in the past. You’ll mention another, similar college. You’ll swing the hammer the way you swing a tennis racket or you’ll substitute a word that fits in the song.

That’s what we do with the past tense. We think of how we’ve made the past tense of all the similar verbs and do something like that. We linguists call that analogy.

In researching the title for this post, I discovered that it comes from Nietzsche, of all people. Funny enough, I agree with Nietzsche that cultural change comes from forgetting, but I disagree with him that it needs to be an “active forgetting.” Passive forgetting seems to work just fine.

If you want to find out how analogy leads to “snoze” and “snuck,” you can read Bybee and Slobin’s papers at the links above, or watch this space and I’ll post more about it soon.

Categorizing people

Earlier this year I talked about Wittgenstein’s family resemblances, which Rosch interpreted as radial categories. I’ve also talked about how categorization is used in arguments, with a layer of “category fight” superimposed on an underlying conflict, and often obscuring that underlying conflict.

I’ve used this in class with my students when we’re studying semantics. I think an understanding of polysemy and an ability to see beyond category fights is a hugely important skill, one that I don’t think they’re likely to get elsewhere. I use real examples, and I can find several new ones every week. But I try to stick to fights over non-human entities, because whenever people try to categorize humans it causes problems.

I don’t know for sure why fights over categorizing humans are so much more fraught than categorizing, say, food, but I have a couple of guesses. First of all, humans are just a lot more complex than almost anything else we categorize. We’re hard to pin down, and thus more likely to belong to radial or complex categories. Second, we’re humans, so the stakes are higher. The human you categorize may well turn out to be yourself.

One of the most contentious categorization project is the bitter wars that have been fought over various categories of people with transgender feelings, thoughts and actions, which I discuss extensively in another blog (but even I only scratch the surface). It has become a commonplace of political correctness to refer to categories of people with adjectives rather than nouns, because the nouns tend to have more negative connotations (for example, “Jewish person” vs. “Jew”). I recently had a discussion on this blog and on Twitter with some editors about the categories of “prescriptivist” and “descriptivist,” and I grew more and more convinced that the root of the problem was that we were trying to categorize people.

A few months ago I was thinking about all the problems that come from categorizing people, and I wondered, “what if we just stopped, and didn’t categorize any more people? Why do we categorize people, anyway?” In thinking about it some more, I realized that we have a deep and ancient need to categorize people. When we see someone we ask ourselves a number of questions in rapid-fire succession:

  • Is this a stranger or a friend?
  • Is this person dangerous?
  • Is this a potential mate?
  • Is this someone who might want to buy what I’m selling?
  • Is this someone who might have something valuable to offer?

We use categories to help us answer these questions: Is the person one of us? One of the bad people? Man or woman? Old or young? Rich or poor? But it’s important to note that these categorizations don’t actually answer the question. They’re only good for an immediate first pass. They’re kludges.

Even in these contact situations, when we have the time and energy we should probably look beyond our initial categorization to see what our kludges might have missed. But whenever there isn’t that immediate face-to-face sizing-up, such as when we’re setting up rules to allocate resources, we should definitely look beyond categorizing people.

In the transgender case I came to the conclusion that it’s better to think of transgender feelings, beliefs and actions than to try to categorize people. Today I decided that that’s true of prescriptivism, too. It’s probably true of Judaism and team captainship as well.

On advising descriptively

Some nice people retweeted my post about being a humble prescriptivist, and I had some interesting reactions in the comments and on Twitter, but Peter Sokolowski had one that I wasn’t prepared for.

Jonathon Owen held up Robert Hall’s Leave Your Language Alone as an example of the kind of pure descriptivist that I was referring to, and Sokolowski tweeted:

After thinking it over, I’ve come to the conclusion that there really are two ideas of “descriptivism.” When writing my post I was thinking of the Robert Hall kind, which is the kind that most linguists talk about and aspire to – although I would agree with Sokolowski that we only wind up as hypocrites, loudly declaiming prescriptivism as we prescribe left and right. I think Sokolowski was thinking of a different kind of prescriptivism, as described by Jesse Sheidlower in an article that Sokolowski tweeted last year:

Descriptivism involves the objective description of the way a language works as observed in actual examples of the language. Descriptive advice — almost an oxymoron — about the acceptability of a word or construction is based solely on usage. If a word or expression is not found in careful or formal speech or writing, good descriptive practice requires the reporting of this information.

This kind of “descriptive advice” (I saw how you ducked “prescription” there, Sheidlower) is a venerable tradition with a long history in second language instruction. Most second language learners aspire to speak and write like native speakers, so it makes sense for their teachers to study the speech and writing of native speakers. As Battye, Hintze and Rowlett tell us, it was applied to instructing native speakers on “good usage” by Claude Favre de Vaugelas in 1647:

vaugelas1647-1

These are not just laws I made for our language based on some personal prerogative of mine. That would be reckless, some would say insane, because what authority, what basis do I have for claiming a privilege that is the sole right of Usage – the power that everyone recognizes as the Lord and Master of modern languages?

Vaugelas’ point – the reason people bought his book – was not to base these laws on all usage, but on “good usage,” le bon Vsage, which he explicitly defined as the usage of the members of King Louis XIV’s court. His book contained “descriptive advice” for people who were already literate in French – and thus presumably upwardly mobile – and wanted to write like courtiers so that they would fit in better, and maybe even be admired, at court. Write like these people and you’ll get ahead.

Somewhere along the line Vaugelas’ bon Vsage became Sokolowski’s “standards of good English.” The goal is still to write like these people and get ahead – Sokolowski tweeted, “I bet [Hall’s] kids speak good English.” I bet, but I doubt they needed any descriptive advice to do it. They spoke good English because they were raised as members of the elite. Sokolowski’s job as an editor at Merriam-Webster is to describe the writing of the elites and make prescriptions (aka descriptive advice) that upwardly mobile people can follow when they want to fit in.

The main difference between France in 1647 and the United States in 2013 is that there’s no explicit reference to a court. There are still elites, and people are still striving to fit in with them, but the old court all went to the guillotine, so nobody wants to name the new court. Instead they just handwave in the direction of “standards.”

If we’re using this definition of “descriptivist” – someone who describes the way elites talk and sells that descriptive advice to strivers – then my descriptivist chemist is not accurate. I think that’s a perfectly valid definition of “descriptivist” and I’m not judging (even if I am teasing a little) – I may be looking for a job doing that at some point.

I think it is important for linguists to be clear when we are actually attempting to describe language objectively as scientists, when we are advising descriptively, when we are humbly prescribing language with a political goal in mind, and when we’re being the kind of crotchety traditionalists that Vaugelas thought were insane back in 1647.

The humble prescriptivist

There’s been some discussion of prescriptivism on various linguistics blogs lately (Kory Stamper has links). The prescriptivism in question is definitely annoying, but I think everyone misses the mark a bit. Jonathon Owen comes the closest to the way I think about it. And the way I think about it comes from Deborah Cameron’s excellent 1995 book Verbal Hygiene (re-released in 2012 with a new foreword).

Since I first heard the term, I’ve come to realize that “verbal hygiene” is kind of a clunky term, so let me propose an alternate one: humble prescriptivism. Before I get to that, though, let me show you what I see as lacking in the descriptivism that linguists so publicly cherish. Meet Chris, the descriptivist chemist:

STEVE: Chris, did you test that substance?
CHRIS: Yes, it’s quite toxic.
STEVE: What?
CHRIS: Oh yes, the amount he put in that punch bowl is enough to kill anyone who takes a sip.
STEVE: Why didn’t you stop him?
CHRIS: I’m a scientist, Steve. I describe the way the world is, not the way I think it should be.

Dave, the descriptivist fashion consultant:

LISA: Dave, what do you think of this suit?
DAVE: It’s blue.
LISA: Yes, but so is that one.
DAVE: It’s a lighter blue than that one. And it doesn’t have pinstripes.
LISA: Yes, but which one is better for this interview?
DAVE: I’m a scientist, Lisa. Some people wear light blue suits to interviews, some people wear dark blue suits. Some people wear suits with pinstripes. They’re all considered appropriate.

Mary, the descriptivist musicologist

STEVE: So, great concert, huh?
MARY: They played with enthusiasm.
STEVE: But did you like it?
MARY: The melody of this version of “Smoke on the Water” didn’t match the studio version or the original Deep Purple version.
STEVE: So you didn’t like it?
MARY: I didn’t say that, Steve. I’m a scientist. Who am I to say that their playing is good or bad? They’re people. They play music.

There are three humble ways to be prescriptivist:

Aesthetics
. De gustibus non est disputandum. People’s tastes are their own, and if I happen to think that Portuguese personal infinitives are sublime and “intranet” is one of the ugliest words in the English language, that’s my right. This is respectful as long as I make it clear that it’s my personal taste.

Social utility. There are communal norms and trends, and sometimes it’s useful to take them into account. It’s especially useful when you’re selling things. This is humble as long as we’re honest about how well we really know and understand these community norms and trends, and what our claims are based on.

Politics. Speech acts are quite often political acts. Names and categories are frequently fraught with politics. Language policy, like all policy, is political. This is respectful as long as we’re honest (with ourselves, at a minimum) about what our political goals are, and how likely our language actions are to achieve them.

It’s arrogant to disguise your political, social or aesthetic goals as the implementation of some universal standard of good or bad, right or wrong. It’s disrespectful to pretend that your norms are everyone’s norms. It’s disrespectful to insist that everyone else slavishly follow the traditions that you personally value. It’s arrogant to set yourself up as the arbiter of good taste.

It comes down to humility and respect. If I want you to (say) stop using “come out of the closet” to mean “declare a gender transition,” I’m going to explain to you exactly why that’s a bad idea, and it’s up to you to decide whether to agree with me. If I think you’ll have a better chance at that job interview if you can avoid dialect features that are known to trigger the interviewer’s unconscious prejudices, I’m going to explain that and let you decide if you want to take that chance. If I would rather hear you say “internal website” than “intranet,” I’m going to tell you that’s my personal preference, and leave it up to you whether or not you want to accommodate it.

Linguists should not be arguing against all prescriptivism, only the arrogant, disrespectful kind. And there’s really too much of that kind in the world.